i'm sick of this shit.

(excuse my french).

whether it seems like it or not, 

I feel like my life is in shambles. 

I don't know how to handle money,

I spend what I don't have and don't know how to save.

I'm really really really struggling, and it has to stop.

 I need to spend money like I'm broke (because I am very broke), and save money (every penny) like I'm unemployed (since I am). I need to repay the debts I owe and get it together because I am SICK of this.

I feel like I am out of control.

and I HATE my body and my diet. I hate how I feel in my body and I hate the way it looks. I hate that I don't have a job and I don't have money and I don't seem to have any self control, which I'm sure is stemming from the fact that I feel so out of control. I need to grow up. Now, today. Not tomorrow. Now.

I'm sick of this shit.

(Sorry about the negative, down-on-myself attitude, but this needed to get out... and this is how it feels.)