I will.

Sunday night was the 66th Tony Awards!

Being that I have the passion that I have for theatre, when I watch the Tony's, this is the only award show I can watch that squeezes my heart and makes me want to cry. I watched the entire show with my cousin, talking to her about how I will be there one day... day-dreaming about how one day I will have the words "Tony Award Nominee" or "Tony Award Winner" attached to my name.. whether it be for a play or a musical.. for a featured actress or a lead role.

 I periodically talk to my good friend Mike (a working actor in LA that once did a show with, he kind of adopted me and I really look up to) when I need advice or encouragement on this subject. I asked him on Sunday night if it was too late for me? (I've been conditioned by the Britney's and the Justin's of my generation to think that if I haven't made it by age 15, it's too late) His response... this secret, "in our industry, doing this thing called theatre, it's never too late." 

My plan? Not exactly sure... except, I know my passion, I know my abilities and capabilities, and I know what I want. I will do what I need to do to make it, and I will. Maybe i'll move to New York? ; )

Here was the hilarious (and very true) opening host number by Neil Patrick Harris!

my slightly crazy weekend at home (I wouldn't expect anything less).

On Tuesday night when I got out of class my little sis, Amanda and I ventured to her home in Arroyo Grande. Wednesday consisted of a (3 hour) meeting with her DJ for her wedding, and her final dress fitting (it's getting close!) and then me driving the last 2 hours it takes me to get home from there. 

Wednesday night was some good family time, complete with UNO Attack and tequila shots (my mom's idea!), 

Thursday was my tiny (or not so tiny) brother's 8th grade graduation, followed by family dinner at Olive Garden, then I went out with some friends in Monterey! 

Friday was a mellow day complete with laundry, a relaxing bath and dinner out at my favorite hometown pizza place Angelina's.

Saturday was my first in-person cheer coaching meeting (getting excited for fall!), then the family headed off to San Jose to watch tiny brother play some crazy good baseball games and CASEY (other little brother) got back from Florida and is now home for the summer!

Sunday was a little scary, my mom got a tear in her retina and had to have laser surgery on the spot to fix it, then we sat and watch "Joyful Noise" (a fun, light-hearted, musical with Queen Latifa and Dolly Parton... and Jeremy Jordon) and finished the night with a family BBQ, complete with my grandparents and my mom's uncle and his wife!

and Monday got a little crazy... my computer seems to have a virus that I'm trying to get wiped out (Best Buy wanted to charge me $200), and I took my car in to get a few things looked at and found out I have cracks in my front brakes and my back pistons are leaking....

based on this news, and also finding out it wouldn't be done for a few days, I thought I would be stuck home for another day or two (and would have to miss my summer school classes) and later, after thinking about it a little more, mom decided it'd be best if I just took her car... so at 9:40pm.. I headed out on the 4 and a half hour drive back to school so I could make it to my 9am class... I got home around 2am (OY!)

Aside from the craziness of all this, I was able to spend some good time with the bestie, playing pool, drinking beer, getting lunch and catching up (in no particular order) and I got to hear all about her wedding that is also quickly approaching! 

 (family UNO/tequila shots)

 (Cameron and I all set for his 8th grade graduation.... yes, he's taller than me)

 (home.)

 (Cameron, Mele (my cousin) and I after Cam's graduation)

 (all 3 back together!)

(yummy lunch with the bestie)

*big sigh*

Happy Tuesday!

a Tuesday happy list & a promise.

(my little lettuce growing town)

today I had both of my classes and after class I am heading on an adventure. 

here's a happy list for the day...

1. going to Pismo Beach with my Little, Amanda, tonight.

2. going home tomorrow (for 4 days)!

3. having some mellow time between classes with Mae.

4. knowing i'm going to get to spend some time in the beautiful Monterey in the next few days.

5. getting a phone call from my manager at Victoria's Secret in Monterey asking me when I will be coming back! (it feels good to be a valued employee).

6. getting to be home for tiny brother's (or the not so tiny Cameron's) 8th grade graduation.

 (the beautiful Monterey)

and here's my promise. I've come to realize lately that Kim Kardashian and I have a similar body type (lots of woman curves) but she is still able to have toned arms and a flat stomach...

so... with her body type as an inspiration I promise to give myself the body I've always wanted (diet and getting my butt moving) as soon as possible so that I can frolic around in a bathing suit and love my body (because bathing suits aren't exactly my friend right now). I promise.

That is all.

Happy Tuesday. 

{disclaimer: this may come off a little jumbled}

Since graduation and having a little bit of time off (and I mean real time off, like going days without having anything I'm needing to do), I've been getting a lot of good thinking time in. I've been thinking about what just happened in my life, I've been thinking about the heavy "now what?" or "what's next?" question, and the question I've been becoming more sure of, "who am I?" 

Another thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is relationships. I have two amazing woman that are very close to me that will be heading down the aisle this summer (one in July and one in August) and it's coming up quick! I am so happy for both of them. Through them, and talking to my roommate a lot about all this, I've come to the conclusion...

I'm not ready.

I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't even really want one. (Granted, I know he will show up in my life when God wants him to regardless of my plan). But I'm excited for that time, whenever that may be. I look forward to it, I really do. I have a picture in my mind of what it will look like, the relationship that is, I have no idea about the guy! But for now, I am far too content being single. 

I love the things that are happening for me! I'm learning who I am, and who I want to be, and what I'm going to do to make that person real. 

Talking with my roommate as much as I have has really changed how I think about dating. She has taught me so much. She is really the person who has made me realize how great it is to be single and free. She's always looking out for me, I really appreciate her. 

(this song is from the season finale of "Glee" from this week; from this song I obtained the quote, "I gotta have roots, before branches. To know who I am, before I know who I want to be." I love it so much.)

That is all. 

i love this.

I found out that this quote was actually not written or said by Shakespeare but actually by the poet/writer, Arrigo Boito. It is often misquoted as being Shakespeare... opps! Either way I like it. 

sounds like a plan.

Off to a good start..

Today is my first day of summer school classes (I'm taking two), and this professor is already proving himself to be a good time. 

At the start of class he dramatically opens and walks through the door before flashing a smile to the class (he's clearly gay), he then pulls out his computer and does a dramatic reading of "Introduction to Poetry" by Billy Collins before putting on some early house music.. 

about halfway through the song he turns it down and pulls up the syllabus to go over as a class.

This is his course description (copied right from the syllabus):

The Madness: What if existence is not a problem to be solved but a mystery to contemplate? What if the story of life has no clear beginning, middle, and end—no narrative arc? What if, instead, that story percolates out of a roiling cauldron of chaos? Perhaps, then, fiction and science are not separate enterprises but twin disciplines, conjoined by theories and probabilities instead of rules and resolutions. In that case, the writing workshop must be a laboratory of ceaseless experimentation where anything is possible and nothing is permitted. If you’re ready to embrace the paradox within that statement, then you’re ready for all the ambiguity inherent in English 408. First item in the Petri dish: must fiction make “sense” in order to create “meaning?”

I'm excited for this next 6 weeks.

Happy Summer!