Mila

"I've heard it said that 

people come into our lives 

for a reason,

bringing something we must learn, 

and we are led to those who help us most to grow

if we let them, and we help them in return...

now I don't know if I believe that's true, 

but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...

it well may be

that we will never meet again, 

in this lifetime,

so let me say before we part, 

so much of me

is made of what I learned from you.

You'll be with me, like a hand print on my heart.

And now whatever way our stories end, 

I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend."

- "For Good," Wicked

I'm missing this girl a whole lot today. Things have been crazy, a roller coaster, a ride I wish I wasn't on, and it's almost been a month.. I'll post more soon, I have thoughts to share and stories to tell.. but for now, I wanted to share this.

xxoo 

project happiness!

(one of my wine purchases today from Trader Joe's.. and yes, there is a big yellow smiley fact on the front of the bottle).

Today has been a very happy day.

I'm sitting here with my glass of wine, watching Monday night football (GO PACKERS!), catching up on some blogging and reflecting on my day.

This morning I had a good day at work, it was slow, but good things happened!

After work I went over to the bank where I was able to set up a nice little (working on making it bigger) savings account and was approved for my first full-blown credit card!

Following my trip to the bank, I stopped by Trader Joe's, which is quite possibly my favorite grocery store ever, and picked up some wine, brie and crackers.. can you say yum??

On the way home I was able to talk to my precious friend Keifer who I miss dearly..

and found out once I was home that I passed the CBEST (the test you have to pass to start substitute teaching)!!! Yeahhh me!!

I'm happy.

Today has been a good day to start off this week.

If you have time, check out this lady's blog...

She is absolutely beautiful, has such a sunny spirit and truly inspires me.

Happy Monday!!

(pray for peace).

xxoo

a few lists.

I'm greatful for...

-fall. (football, scarfs, boots, rain).

-the fact that i am able to go to work at a job that i know and love with people that i love. 

-being able to choreograph and teach 13 wonderful little girls as their cheer coach.

-the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, generous friends and people i have in my life (no matter how far away we live from each other). 

-the excitement i have inside my heart to be starting work on a new musical project, October 1st. 

-my good friend Camila, this sweet lady spent 45 days in the hospital figuring out a problem with some leukemia, and yesterday she was released from the hospital! 

-the awareness i gained today of what we, as wealthy Americans and Christians, can be doing to help 'the poorest of the poor' gain healing and jobs in other countries (and got some really cute stuff in the process). 

I'm bumming because...

-i don't live with my sister anymore (i know it's been 2 months... but i'm still bitter about it).

-i don't have my own space. I know how lucky i am to be living rent-free.. but i'm anxious (and trying to be patient while waiting) for that time when i can journey off on my own, hopefully to San Francisco ;) , living my life. 

-i feel like i am no longer surrounded by the strong, close friends i was surrounded by at school. i mean, shoot, maegan and i lived together and Keifer was just 3 doors down.. and i had all my Greek system friends, and theatre people! i was truly surrounded, and it was fabulous... and i don't feel like i have that here. 

I'm praying for...

-peace. lately i've been struggling with this. i've been having some mood swing issues and i've been pretty irritable and i don't like it at all. i can tell when i'm doing it and i don't like it. 

-guidance. i need God to show me my next step and show me what he is doing with me in my 'waiting.' 

-healing and acceptance. i have not been doing well with accepting all of the changes that have been happening in my life (not living with Maegan, therefore living at home, Amanda getting married and moving.. Camila getting sick)... 

-my husband. i have no idea who this man is... i don't know if i know him, or not.. i have no idea when he will come into my life or what he will even look life.. but i know that God has been preparing him for me and me for him, our whole lives.. i pray for the time that he will come into my life and change it forever. i am extremely exciting for this. 

thought upon thoughts.

keep peace..

xxoo

{untitled}.

Lately I've been feeling a little like this...

I miss living with my sister.

I miss having my own space.

I miss my best friend.

I want to make money.

I want to travel.

I want to do theatre.

I want to get my credentials.

I want to move to San Francisco with Maegan.

 (this lovely, Russie, is moving up to the city today! I want to go with her.)

I've had the pleasure of working with Russie for the past few years and I've loved our time together at work... and outside of work :) I am going to miss her so. 

Because I've been feeling so funky I decided to do a short "happy list" to brighten things up...

My girls. Being a cheer coach has been great. I love these little girls.

My  job. I get to go to work, spend time with people I love and sell I product I'm obsessed with, I'm lucky.

Theatre. I am beyond excited to be starting work on another show! It's been far too long since I've been on stage. I can't wait to dance again!

It's starting to feel like fall and I am sooo looking forward to this season.

annnd... Football!! as silly as it sounds I have been watching a ton of football and it makes me so happy. 

are you having a good weekend lovelies?

tell me about it.

xxoo

9.11.12

I found this precious video of Kris Allen singing "God Bless the USA" at a special Memorial Day celebration and I decided to share it in honor of today. 

Eleven years ago our country was changed forever. 

I heard an army wife today talking on the radio about how September 11, 2001 effected her life. Through some tears she went on to say, "I am thankful for what September 11th was because without it we wouldn't have had September 12th.." That was really wise to me. She was recognizing the tragedy of that day with the further realization that without it we wouldn't have come together with such strength and pride as a country. I thought that was really cool.

Where were you on 9/11/01? Hold old were you? What did you feel?

Never forgotten. 

God bless. 

Thoughts..

Sometimes I like to think my soul looks a little like this.
When I take naps, no matter what time it is, I change back into my pj's. 

I'm a whiskey and beer drinking kinda gal.

One day, I want to marry my best friend.

I want my job to require me to wear a rehearsal skirt and character shoes everyday to the "office."

Without music.... or theatre..... or dance.... I don't know who I'd be.

Michael Buble. Andy Grammer. Jason Aldean. (3 men that can always make my day better).

 I can't watch Titanic with anyone other than Maegan.
If I could have 4 tattoos I would.
I watch a lot of TLC.

I'm younger in my head than I am in real-life. 

I want to adventure, to see things, to experience things, to learn things. 

a few pinterest things.

letters.

Dear Maegan, 

Thank you for coming to see me this weekend. I needed that.

Dear weekend,

I'm really happy I was able to have you off from work.

Dear San Francisco,

You are fantastic. It was so great to show you to Maegan for the first time... living in (or around) your city is a definite goal for the near future. 

Dear Camila,

I loved that I was able to visit you this weekend. You are beautiful and strong and I am praying every day for fast healing and recovery of your body! (Can't wait for us to be able to get back to some shenanigans). 

Dear toe,

I know I hurt you really bad at work... but I would really like you to heal so I can put you back in a shoe and start running again. 

Dear competition choreography,

You are proving yourself to be a tad more difficult than I thought you would be... ok, who am I kidding.. I knew this was going to be a challenge! (but I'm enjoying trying to figure it all out).

Dear apartment (Box 2.0),

Boy do I miss you... 

and the space (my own space) that you gave me... I need that back.

That is all... for now.

XXOO

8.18.12

On Saturday, August 18th, 2012 

my beautiful best friend Amanda Mann became Mrs. Amanda Massingale when she married her best friend James Massingale. I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid, stand behind her and make a speech at the reception... it was a very special day. On Wednesday the newlyweds will be driving across country to their new home together in North Carolina and I am crazy sad. This is going to set us on a new journey as grown-up best friends... my best friend has a husband! That is so crazy!! Here are some pictures from this incredible day...

 The first kiss. 

 After the ceremony. 

 Cutting the cake.

 The bridesmaids; (from left to right) me, Candace, Cassie, Rebecca, Sarah and Rachel. 

The bride and I at the reception!

XXOO

7.8.12

On Sunday, my beautiful little married her Marine. 

It was beautiful beyond words. 

I was so honored to have been a part of this day, I love you both so much.

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Jacobson!

(Photo credit goes to my amazing friend Pierce Larick: New Revolution Photography)

July 3rd/Independence Day, 2012

Tuesday night was my 4th of July.

I went with Maegan to her hometown of Moorpark for their annual 3rd of July celebration!

I don't know why they do it this way, but for years and years (or so I'm told) those Moorpark(ians) take over a huge park in town and all celebrate, eat, play and watch fireworks together. It was a sweet time. I liked it.

As for July 4th... I had homework to catch up on, so it was just me, drinking some beer, doing my homework and watching "Sweet Home Alabama." It was actually a nice night.

Is is seriously the 5th of July already??

(I am 23 in 25 days!)

(Wedding time starts tomorrow!!)

in 27 days...

I turn 23!

I don't know why I feel like 23 is so much older than 22...

maybe it's because the first 2 years of my 20's (holy crap did I just say that?) went by so fast?

My 21st birthday feels like ages ago...

(Amanda and I on our Vegas trip with my parents).

when I was turning 21, I had just had one life-saving semester as a new member of Delta Zeta, I was in a run of "RENT," Amanda wasn't even engaged yet, and I hadn't even met Maegan yet!

On my 22nd birthday, I was dating Thomas and I went with him to a crazy, nice dinner in Pebble Beach...

(again, this feels like forever ago!)

since I've been 22... I have gained a sister in the form of a roommate, my best friend has gotten engaged, I have decided what I want to do with my life, I graduated college, and this summer I am in 2 weddings for 2 amazing friends (ONEISTHISWEEKEND!!!), and my time in Northridge is very quickly coming to an end!...

So with the thought of 23 quickly approaching, I think of the things ahead of me...

I am going to:

move home

watch my best friend get married

start to substitute teaching

coach a fabulous cheer squad in the fall

start working on making my dream a reality

and I plan to work out and diet so I...

(notice the #?...this will happen very soon).

strange and exciting things lay ahead of me...

this will be a good age.

Happy Tuesday!

(5 days until Amanda and John's wedding!!)

first bachelorette weekend (ever)!

 in about an hour I will be heading to Palm Springs for the weekend with these 2 ladies (plus 3 more) for my little Amanda's bachelorette weekend! I am way too excited! 

These girls are my world. These last few years wouldn't have happened without them and I cannot wait to be wearing another matching outfit (oh, recruitment) with my beautiful roommate as we stand behind this amazing woman on her wedding day. 

Yeah for vacations! = ]

Happy Weekend!

diet attempt # (idk) 2.. (maybe 3)?

remember this? or this? or this?

last spring I was determined to lose some weight, and I did... for a bit.

and I also, as a New Years resolution, said again, that I would get more exercise

and lose weight (and keep it off)... well, let's just say I'm happy there is still a little more than 6 months left in 2012. It is officially time to do this.

So, here's how this is going to happen...

I have given myself a strict diet 'plan.'

Here it is:

- no carbs after 11am

- fruits, veggies, lean meats (fish/chicken) only

- limited, to no, dairy

- can only drink coffee and water

- no eating after 9:30pm (bedtime by 12). 

ok, that's it.. and I am going to start off by challenging myself to do this between now and my first wedding of the summer (July 8th), and I know that's not a huge chunk of time to start off with, but I need to start somewhere. I hope to keep this as general diet guidelines for my life from now on.

I have enlisted the help of my best friend to keep me on track with this.. thank goodness for her.

as far as working out... I'm struggling to get my body moving... and until I move home in August (and can go back to my home gym Mon-Thur), I'm not really sure what I'm going to do until then... I'll keep you posted... 

I have really been struggling with this, so this is going to be a challenge... here we go...

my slightly crazy weekend at home (I wouldn't expect anything less).

On Tuesday night when I got out of class my little sis, Amanda and I ventured to her home in Arroyo Grande. Wednesday consisted of a (3 hour) meeting with her DJ for her wedding, and her final dress fitting (it's getting close!) and then me driving the last 2 hours it takes me to get home from there. 

Wednesday night was some good family time, complete with UNO Attack and tequila shots (my mom's idea!), 

Thursday was my tiny (or not so tiny) brother's 8th grade graduation, followed by family dinner at Olive Garden, then I went out with some friends in Monterey! 

Friday was a mellow day complete with laundry, a relaxing bath and dinner out at my favorite hometown pizza place Angelina's.

Saturday was my first in-person cheer coaching meeting (getting excited for fall!), then the family headed off to San Jose to watch tiny brother play some crazy good baseball games and CASEY (other little brother) got back from Florida and is now home for the summer!

Sunday was a little scary, my mom got a tear in her retina and had to have laser surgery on the spot to fix it, then we sat and watch "Joyful Noise" (a fun, light-hearted, musical with Queen Latifa and Dolly Parton... and Jeremy Jordon) and finished the night with a family BBQ, complete with my grandparents and my mom's uncle and his wife!

and Monday got a little crazy... my computer seems to have a virus that I'm trying to get wiped out (Best Buy wanted to charge me $200), and I took my car in to get a few things looked at and found out I have cracks in my front brakes and my back pistons are leaking....

based on this news, and also finding out it wouldn't be done for a few days, I thought I would be stuck home for another day or two (and would have to miss my summer school classes) and later, after thinking about it a little more, mom decided it'd be best if I just took her car... so at 9:40pm.. I headed out on the 4 and a half hour drive back to school so I could make it to my 9am class... I got home around 2am (OY!)

Aside from the craziness of all this, I was able to spend some good time with the bestie, playing pool, drinking beer, getting lunch and catching up (in no particular order) and I got to hear all about her wedding that is also quickly approaching! 

 (family UNO/tequila shots)

 (Cameron and I all set for his 8th grade graduation.... yes, he's taller than me)

 (home.)

 (Cameron, Mele (my cousin) and I after Cam's graduation)

 (all 3 back together!)

(yummy lunch with the bestie)

*big sigh*

Happy Tuesday!

can I make the next 20 days last for a semester?

I am really struggling with the fact that Maegan and I are graduating in 20 (well I guess now, 19) days...

(more on this later)

but I really want to cry. I have an excitement but more of a deep deep sadness that this time in my life is coming to an end. These last 3 years turned into so much more than I could have ever asked for. 

I have been so blessed.

(and, more on all this later)

but I really am upset.

I want to go back and do it all again.

This song from "Glee" (yes I am aware how cheesy this is) has really been feeling appropriate for how I feel about this time in my life before graduation, so it's kinda been on repeat with me...

"Here's to us, here's to love, all the times we messed up.

Here's to you fill the glass,

cuz the last few years have gone to fast.

So let's give 'em hell, wish everybody well,

here's to us, here's to us..."

Maegan and I also had our Delta Zeta Senior Send-Off on Monday night (again, more on this later) so we are now both officially alums. We both read letters to the chapter, attempted to say goodbyes, and cried. It was heart-wrenching.

Thankfully we are going to Palm Springs this weekend for a SAE Formal (Sigma Alpha Epsilon), so that will be a good long party!

(more to come on all this later, but for now, I need some shut eye).

we fell down the rabbit hole!

There was a time I portrayed the Queen of Hearts in a fantastic photoshoot with several lovely ladies. The beauty and wonder of this concept was dreamed up by my friend Cassie and the pictures were captured by my best friends little sister Candace!

It was a fantastic experience and there are about 32 other photos to go along with our "Alice in Wonderland" theme! To see them visit Candance Mann's Photography page! I love this stuff.

Looking back at 2011!

I took this idea from the best friend. I am going to take a look back at 2011 via my little blog!

In January I was just starting to get the hang of this little blog thing.

In February I decided to kick-start my blogging my doing "30 Days of Blogging."

In March I started the "Green Dress Challenge" where I decided to start losing some weight (still working on this, it's a constant challenge) and met one of my "Idol's" (or American Idol that is).

In April I fell in love.

In May I had my first experience traveling along and got stuck in Dallas overnight, and my life (and my perspective on life) was changed forever when my roommate lost her father to cancer.

In June I committed to growing up and doing better in school.

In July I turned 22 and "completed" my "Green Dress Challenge" when I could finally fit into the dress I was wanted to wear, and wore it to a Jason Aldean concert!

In August I reflected on the summer and said goodbye to my little brother when he moved to Florida.

In September my heart was broken and I turned to God and family and friends and made a full recovery!

In October we celebrated 2 Murray birthday's and officially took my life back.

In November I blogged for 30 days about what I was thankful for.

and in December I reflected on my college experience I found out my graduation date and celebrated Christmas with my family.

Disney Magic

Here are some pictures from our trip to the "Happiest Place on Earth!" This was a picture I took of the beautiful castle at night all decked out for Christmas!

If you look closely at this picture you can see that it says "World of Color" in the water.. it was showing a lot more clearly than that but my camera wouldn't capture it. I can't even describe to you how brilliant "World of Color" is. Some of the things done in this show can only be described by Disney magic.. if you haven't seen this show yet.. do yourself a favor, and next time you are there... see it! I cried.
This was the picture they snap of you right before they drop you again on the "Hollywood Tower of Terror"... my family and I are on the middle row... and as you can see from my face.. "Tower of Terror" is a pretty accurate name.. but it is so fun!

This is a picture I took in line waiting for "Snow White."

"Pinnochio"

My mom and I waiting for the new "Little Mermaid" ride.. and being that this was my all time favorite movie growing up, I loved this ride!

"Indiana Jones!" (which we rode at least 3 times.. it's the best).

It was an amazing trip. Disneyland or Disney in general will never get old.. and I will never outgrow it!

Day 3: All the world's a stage..

Day 3: Theatre.

I can't even begin to explain what theatre has done for my life. But I will try and give you a little idea (ps, sorry for how out of order the pictures are).

My whole life I have loved Disney movies, which some people for whatever reason don't realize are musicals, and I was always in my church musicals. I started ballet when I was 3... but for whatever reason, with all of the singing and dancing in my life, I never thought about the idea of combining them and doing musical theatre until I was in high school. My senior year of high school (see picture below), I auditioned for "Grease", one of my all time favorite movies, and was cast as the role of "Sandy." <---highlight of my high school career, and ever since then I wanted to do as much theatre as I could.

At MPC, the community college I went to, I started talking all the acting classes that I could. I jumped in to doing scene work and was loving it! The summer after my freshman year of college I was in "Evita" which ran all summer, we did 32 shows, and I never wanted it to end. My next show was "My Fair Lady" (picture below), and I did more dancing than I think I had ever done up to that point.

That next summer, after doing more scene work and a few smaller shows during the year, I was in a big summer production of "The Producers." That was amazing, and I met one of my dearest friends Camila (far left in the picture below).
The next summer *intert deep sigh here* I was in the central coast premiere of "RENT." This show, the cast, the process, the rehearsals, the music, everything about that summer, changed my life. I can't explain it, but know that it did.

(below: some of the cast of "Evita," guy to my right Mike(che), one of my dearest friends in the world).

(below: Camila and I in our "Springtime for Hitler" costumes!)

(below: rehearsing for "RENT")

(below: "Danny" and "Sandy")

(below: Jameson, another dear theatre friend, backstage)

(below: Mike(che) and I, again)

Loooonnnnng story short, I am very very thankful for theatre.