Dear Lord...

I talk to God multiple times a day... I recently discovered that keeping an open dialogue with the big man upstairs is the best way to go. Usually when I talk to God, throughout the day, it tends to be about me, or things going on in my life... but lately, there's been so much going on in this world, that it's almost been overwhelming thinking about all the things I should be talking to Him about. This world has a lot of hurt and devastation happening right now... death, sickness and natural disasters are everywhere. 

Tonight, God, I want to ask you to bring peace, comfort and strength to everyone who have been effected by the tornado in Oklahoma. I want to ask that you keep a hand on the first responder's that have been out there since it happened, and that you hug those that are hurting. I want to ask again that you bring peace, closure and clarity to the Sobiech family, who lost Zach yesterday. 

I have people that are close to me in my life that are sick, or hurting, or need some extra love... (I don't want to put their personal information on my blog, that's not my place), but You know who they are. Please, bless them with what they need.

I have had an overwhelming feeling lately to be constantly thanking God for all of the blessings in my life. Sometimes I get upset when I feel like I'm not doing enough, or not making enough money, or that things aren't happening fast enough for me. I have to remind myself that my cup is over flowing with the blessings I have in my life. I know that God has a very specific plan for me, He's revealed it to me. I know what I'm supposed to be doing... He has been preparing my heart, I can feel it. I also know that God is tricky, and when He asks you to be patient, BOY are you going to be challenged to be patient. I just need to rely on my faith and the love I know God has for me. He is a powerful God, that I fear. I know good things are coming soon, and when they do, all the waiting will be proven worth it, and I will be ready. 

In Jesus' name. = ]

xxoo

{untitled}.

*wink*

xxoo

Sometimes I dream about..

Sometime I dream about... well, lots of things. Lately I've been fighting my own battle of trying to "embrace the current season of my life." By battle, I literally mean that my feelings have been going back and forth so much it's been a battle. My thoughts are so happy and know that I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing but then every once and a while I get frustrated and feel like I'm not doing enough and that I'm not working hard enough... right now it's the later. *big sigh*

Sometimes I dream about falling in love. Lately I've been thinking a lot about love. Two of my closest friends are married, and it just feels like everyone is getting engaged, married or pregnant. (If only you could see what my news feed on Facebook looks like, it's overwhelming). I've been wondering when my time will come... wondering if every guy I encounter could be him, (this is a real annoyance, I can't help it), and really just who this guys will be. I have also realized that I don't really know how to let someone love me so i'm going to need let that happen.. just thoughts. 

Sometimes I dream about my future. What am I really going to end up doing?! Am I really going to work my ass off, move to New York, audition and do theatre PROFESSIONALLY and as my CAREER?? I need this to happen. I want it more than anything..

and yet,

sometimes I dream about having a family. I've always know that my #1 thing in life that I want is to fall in love, get married and have a family.. and up until a few years ago, I always thought it would happen young. That I would get married young and start a family young like my parents did, but as I've gotten older it has made more sense for that to happen later for me. I don't know when though.. when I think about going to NY and doing this thing, I can't think of when or how I would eventually add a husband and then kids to the mix of things.. so I don't know what's going to happen... it's all on God's timing anyway.

It's been awhile,

I'll be back soon.

xxoo

Camila's Cure!

It's been some time since I found out that my beautiful friend Camila was diagnosed with acute myloid leukemia. For a while, I couldn't really wrap my mind around it... I mean, she's 22 and she's perfect... until I was able to see her in the hospital, visit with her, and later spend more time with her once she was home for a bit. This lady has been a dear dear friend of mine for about 4 years now and I couldn't imagine life without her. I met her doing theater here in Monterey and we became very close through the experiences (she's taught me well). 

My prayers have been going out to her daily and now my mom has been holding donor drives and recruiting as many people as possible to be her possible bone marrow donor! 

Please pray for her healing and that we find her a match. She has kept her spirits and hopes high and we are all doing the same! 

Go to  Be The Match! (that's her direct link) to sign up and hopefully be her match! Her donor needs to be between the ages of 18-44 and a bi-racial mix of Mexican and Caucasian. 

 (Below: Camila and I on a recent trip to Tahoe! My family had planned a trip while she had coincidentally planned a trip with friends at the same time, for the same side of the lake, and we were staying in cabins 2 blocks from each other! Let's just say it was a great trip!)

 (Below: Camila and I in a production of RENT that we did at MPC! She played Mimi and if you know the show you know how amazing that is! That summer changed my life!)

 (Below: Camila, Casey and I after a show!)

 (Below: Camila, me and our other great friend Tara, at a New Year's Eve celebration at a local theatre!)

 (Below: Camila, Tara and I on our weekend trip to San Francisco for Camila's 21st birthday! That was a good time, let me tell you!)

This girl is my partner in crime! I love her so much and she has taught me so much about living! I pray for her health and strength every day. I want this girl back to being healthy so she can get back to her life as it should  be... on stage, singing and dancing and reeking havoc with me whenever we can find the chance! 

I LOVE YOU CAMILA!

Team De La Llata!!

xxoo

a few lists.

I'm greatful for...

-fall. (football, scarfs, boots, rain).

-the fact that i am able to go to work at a job that i know and love with people that i love. 

-being able to choreograph and teach 13 wonderful little girls as their cheer coach.

-the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, generous friends and people i have in my life (no matter how far away we live from each other). 

-the excitement i have inside my heart to be starting work on a new musical project, October 1st. 

-my good friend Camila, this sweet lady spent 45 days in the hospital figuring out a problem with some leukemia, and yesterday she was released from the hospital! 

-the awareness i gained today of what we, as wealthy Americans and Christians, can be doing to help 'the poorest of the poor' gain healing and jobs in other countries (and got some really cute stuff in the process). 

I'm bumming because...

-i don't live with my sister anymore (i know it's been 2 months... but i'm still bitter about it).

-i don't have my own space. I know how lucky i am to be living rent-free.. but i'm anxious (and trying to be patient while waiting) for that time when i can journey off on my own, hopefully to San Francisco ;) , living my life. 

-i feel like i am no longer surrounded by the strong, close friends i was surrounded by at school. i mean, shoot, maegan and i lived together and Keifer was just 3 doors down.. and i had all my Greek system friends, and theatre people! i was truly surrounded, and it was fabulous... and i don't feel like i have that here. 

I'm praying for...

-peace. lately i've been struggling with this. i've been having some mood swing issues and i've been pretty irritable and i don't like it at all. i can tell when i'm doing it and i don't like it. 

-guidance. i need God to show me my next step and show me what he is doing with me in my 'waiting.' 

-healing and acceptance. i have not been doing well with accepting all of the changes that have been happening in my life (not living with Maegan, therefore living at home, Amanda getting married and moving.. Camila getting sick)... 

-my husband. i have no idea who this man is... i don't know if i know him, or not.. i have no idea when he will come into my life or what he will even look life.. but i know that God has been preparing him for me and me for him, our whole lives.. i pray for the time that he will come into my life and change it forever. i am extremely exciting for this. 

thought upon thoughts.

keep peace..

xxoo

Peace.

It's become apparent to me that I need to find peace again in my life.  

Things lately been a little ever changing, starting with graduation back in May!... and it's been really weird and hard. I've never done very well with change. Here's to focusing on simplifying and regaining my peace!

Psalm 29:11 "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." 

Psalms 34:14 "...seek peace and pursue it."

"It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it." -Eleanor Roosevelt 

Keep peace in your hearts. 

Happy Wednesday lovelies. 

xxoo 

{untitled}.

Lately I've been feeling a little like this...

I miss living with my sister.

I miss having my own space.

I miss my best friend.

I want to make money.

I want to travel.

I want to do theatre.

I want to get my credentials.

I want to move to San Francisco with Maegan.

 (this lovely, Russie, is moving up to the city today! I want to go with her.)

I've had the pleasure of working with Russie for the past few years and I've loved our time together at work... and outside of work :) I am going to miss her so. 

Because I've been feeling so funky I decided to do a short "happy list" to brighten things up...

My girls. Being a cheer coach has been great. I love these little girls.

My  job. I get to go to work, spend time with people I love and sell I product I'm obsessed with, I'm lucky.

Theatre. I am beyond excited to be starting work on another show! It's been far too long since I've been on stage. I can't wait to dance again!

It's starting to feel like fall and I am sooo looking forward to this season.

annnd... Football!! as silly as it sounds I have been watching a ton of football and it makes me so happy. 

are you having a good weekend lovelies?

tell me about it.

xxoo

Thoughts..

Sometimes I like to think my soul looks a little like this.
When I take naps, no matter what time it is, I change back into my pj's. 

I'm a whiskey and beer drinking kinda gal.

One day, I want to marry my best friend.

I want my job to require me to wear a rehearsal skirt and character shoes everyday to the "office."

Without music.... or theatre..... or dance.... I don't know who I'd be.

Michael Buble. Andy Grammer. Jason Aldean. (3 men that can always make my day better).

 I can't watch Titanic with anyone other than Maegan.
If I could have 4 tattoos I would.
I watch a lot of TLC.

I'm younger in my head than I am in real-life. 

I want to adventure, to see things, to experience things, to learn things. 

a few pinterest things.

dance.

Tonight after class, my sorority sister and I are going to go to an amazing space; it's an empty room in the gym on campus... a room that is usually used for spin classes, yoga classes, kick-boxing, etc... but tonight it will be used for dance. It's an empty room with a wood floor, a wall of mirrors, and a bar... 

This sister of mine is a brilliant ballerina and we have been talking about getting together and just 

dancing, moving, being.

We are going to play and hopefully come up with some choreography to "You Found Me" by the Fray... I cannot wait. I want need to move my body. My soul misses needs it. Needless to say, we are going to try and make this a regular thing and I could not be happier.  

("You Found Me" by the Fray)

Today.

Today is a new day.

A fresh start, another chance.

Time to make things happen.

No day but to day.

Happy Wednesday!

(Andy Grammer's "You Should Know Better")

{disclaimer: this may come off a little jumbled}

Since graduation and having a little bit of time off (and I mean real time off, like going days without having anything I'm needing to do), I've been getting a lot of good thinking time in. I've been thinking about what just happened in my life, I've been thinking about the heavy "now what?" or "what's next?" question, and the question I've been becoming more sure of, "who am I?" 

Another thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is relationships. I have two amazing woman that are very close to me that will be heading down the aisle this summer (one in July and one in August) and it's coming up quick! I am so happy for both of them. Through them, and talking to my roommate a lot about all this, I've come to the conclusion...

I'm not ready.

I'm not ready for a relationship. I don't even really want one. (Granted, I know he will show up in my life when God wants him to regardless of my plan). But I'm excited for that time, whenever that may be. I look forward to it, I really do. I have a picture in my mind of what it will look like, the relationship that is, I have no idea about the guy! But for now, I am far too content being single. 

I love the things that are happening for me! I'm learning who I am, and who I want to be, and what I'm going to do to make that person real. 

Talking with my roommate as much as I have has really changed how I think about dating. She has taught me so much. She is really the person who has made me realize how great it is to be single and free. She's always looking out for me, I really appreciate her. 

(this song is from the season finale of "Glee" from this week; from this song I obtained the quote, "I gotta have roots, before branches. To know who I am, before I know who I want to be." I love it so much.)

That is all. 

sounds like a plan.

yes please.

today i've been a tiny bit cranky. i don't feel the greatest, i have a yucky stuffy nose, and i just have more homework and responsibilities to take care of than i want to. i've been browsing through pintrest and i've discovered something about myself.. i love forts. i want to build one in my living room, and turn my room into a permanent one. i want to drape my bed with white sheets or sheer fabric and put twinkle lights everywhere. once that has been done, i want to cuddle inside of it with blankets and a book and a glass of wine (or a cup of tea).

i have also been thinking about the qualities, or type of man i eventually want to be with... and along with many other qualities, i want him to be able to be silly with me (when it is appropriate). i want to be able to decide that building a fort in the living room, eating pizza, watching movies and more or less "camping" in the living room would be a really fun idea and have him be as silly about it as i would be!
i found this picture (below) and decided i want this somewhere in my house. it's like a permanent fort that i could hide in and read, or take a nap. i love this!

I want to sit around a listen to Beirut all day.

Wants..

I want...

someone to "build" this (above) in my living room

someone to sweep me off my feet

eat a yummy home cooked meal

sit around with my roommate and watch movies and drink wine

drink coffee at Bricks and Scones and blog

read more

get back to eating better

go home for Thanksgiving.

Happy Weekend.

Live.

(I want this to be my room)

I want to wear feathers in my hair and dance with the wind. Running around the trees with my dress spinning around me. I want to completley let go. Create. Discover. Be free.Dream in reality. Your world can be what you want it to be. Sit and listen. Let music sway you, feel it in your soul. Take in your surroundings, make life what you want it to be. Love. Care and feel for another. Touch and feel the warmth of another moving between their finger tips and your skin. Feel. Let life effect you. Be vulnerable, mold and grow. Learn from the things around you, always. Be free. Do as you feel. Create and inspire. Love and be effected. Be beyond the conventional, different and unique. Be you.

Peace.

John 16:33

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."


Matthew 6:34

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."