oh, the things to come..

how quickly things change.... this time last year is depicted in the picture on the right... and currently I look like the picture on the left. soooo weird...

10 days left in Northridge and I'm starting to think a lot about summer. I've been thinking a lot about this time last year; where I was, what I was doing, who I was with, how I was thinking.... everything. This time last year I was studying f0r finals, doing DZ stuff (as a newly initiated member), I was getting ready to pack and leave the hell hole that was my dorm and I was very much looking forward to the project that awaited me as soon as I got home, "RENT."

"RENT"/Summer 2010, changed my life. The process by which I grew over the course of the summer is hard to even contemplate. The Corinne that was in Northridge at the end of Spring 2010 semester, is no where NEAR the Corinne that came back to Northridge in the Fall 2010. I had gained new perspectives on life, "No day but today," and new ways of thinking about life and its experiences, "forget regret, or life is yours to miss"...

Over this past year, so much has happend, and so much has changed. When I came back to Northridge in the Fall I met a girl who, now, I can't imagine living without. My roommate, Maegan. She has gone through so much with me in this past year that I can't even put it into words. We have challenged and helped eachother in ways I never expected. After living in our sorority house in the Fall, we decided to get an apartment for the following semester.... I could never have imagined what changes and experiences that would bring.

Since living in the apartment, but not because of the apartment, I gained the friendship of two amazing women that I never thought I would ever be friends with, Gail and Natalie. These women have been everything to me this semester, and now I can't imagine college without them.

Now, as I'm looking forward to this summer and assessing all the things that have changed in the past year, I look forward with curiosity and excitment. No, I'm not doing a huge summer production this year (for the first time in 3 summers), but I have the boy to think about and work work work. I have no idea what this summer has in store... but I'm sure a lot will change, in me and in my life. In the Fall I will still be living with Maegan, in a new apartment, and I will be entering my final year of college at CSUN... taking on a new major and an added minor. I have no idea what's going to happen, but with all that changed since this time last year, I can't wait to find out! "There's only us, there's only this, forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road, no other way, NO DAY BUT TODAY."

honeybee.

"If you'll be my soft and sweet, I'll be your strong and steady.

You be my glass of wine, I'll be your shot of whiskey."

-the boy. (via Blake Shelton)

I'm a very happy girl.

Green Dress Challenge (Month 2)

I have been cheating on this diet A LOT.

I've been eating Chili's wayyy too much and last night I even had Carl's JR!!!!!! sooooo distgusting.

So in an effort the jump start month #2 of this life-change, Maegan and I have decided to do the Master Cleanse for a week. The Master Cleanse is a drink that you drink twice a day and lots and lots of water in between. It's a mix of fresh squeezed lemon juice, ceyenne pepper and pure maple syrup. It keeps you full and completley flushes out your system.

So we are going to do the cleanse for a week, than i'm going back to my diet FULL FORCE!

Cross your fingers for me, this is going to be tough.

Letters. (inspired by Amanda Noel)

Dear Friday class,
Why do you even exist? It should be against the rules to have classes on Friday's.

Dear work,
I don't want to go to you this weekend.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday... I'm not looking forward to it.

Dear Finals (papers and projects),
I would love for you to write yourself, complete yourself and ace yourself.

Dear Amanda,
Thank you for letting me invade your space for the night.
The "sipping" drink was appreciated and the laying out was needed.

Dear lake,
Can I just be at you now?

Dear Boy,
Thank you for letting me call you to freak out, thank you for providing your opinion and your support to my crazy life. I like you and I can't wait to see you.

Dear body,
I would love for you to look the way I want you to with not as much effort as it actually takes.

Dear diet,
why can't you be easier and show results faster?

Dear "box" (apartment),
I don't really want to leave you, you have given me great memories, and I also don't want to have to pack you... but I must.

Dear May 21st,
Please come very very fast, i'd appreciate it.

Dear Mom!
I wish I could be there with you this Sunday...
I'll see you soon though!
You have no idea how much I love, need and appreciate you.

Dear God,
please help me to get through these next 2 weeks and help my mind to turn back to a positive place.

Distorted reflection.

today i'm having issues.

the mirror is my enemy.

i'm sitting in class... and i feel disgusting.

i feel my bare arms against my side and they feel huge...

i can feel a line creased in my belly underneath my flowy shirt and i wanna cry..

when i tilt my head downward.. i swear that i can feel a double chin..

i know this isn't what i really look like,

and i know i'm being really hard on myself, but today i'm really struggling.

i had chili's like 3 times this week and the thought of that makes me sick..

i'm not looking for pity and i'm not pining for compliments,

i'm just venting.

i know i'm not fat, and i know i've been losing weight...
but today i just don't feel good.

of course i'm still eating, and i promise i'm not doing anything unhealthy so i don't want anyone to worry...

and i'm working on getting my second wind for my diet, but today i just feel sick.

19 days and counting!

soooo much to get done in the next 19 days.

finals. moving out.

the anticipation of summer but the anxiety of having to leave the box and the girls.

i'm starting to freak out a little bit.

19 days to go...

(Part of) my bucket list..

well... since I'm up.. and what's been keeping me from falling back to sleep is all the "lists" that have been running through my head, I figured I'd post on an exciting, not so stressful list..

The Buried Life guys ask at the beginning of each of their episodes,

"What do YOU want to do before you die?"

well... lots of things!

I'm just going to go off the cuff and list some things that I KNOW I want to do before I kick the bucket.

1. (recently added) complete a full marathon

2. (inspired by my Little, Melissa) do a mud run!

3. work in an orphanage in Africa (try not to bring all the children home with me)

4. go to Mardi Gras

5. go to all 7 continents

6. live in New York

7. perform on Broadway

8. go on a backpacking trip through Europe

9. go to Graceland!!

10. go to North Carolina

(and see the beaches that look like the ones in "Dear John" and "the Last Song")

11. become a teacher (high school English, to be exact)

12. be a momma (as good as mine)

13. have a marriage as amazing as my parents

14. sing kareoke in a hole-in-the-wall bar somewhere in the south

15. fly in a plane piloted by my brother

16. fly in my grandpa's P51 mustang

17. go on a date to a drive-in movie

18. meet the President (whoever that may be when the opportunity presents itself)

19. go to a town as small as the one Carrie Underwood grew up in (population 3,400... to put that in perspective, my "small town" has a population of 150,000)!!

20. go to Stagecouch!

ok, now I'm having to think too hard to add to the list... but those are some of them for starters!

I'm noticing a lot of them have to do with traveling, I feel like I haven't been ANYWHERE!

That is all.